2016年07月30日

IELTSライティング Task1 グラフ問題 2 -LIne Graphs-

IELTSのライティングTask1問題を解いて
フルーツフルイングリッシュの自由作文に出して戻って来た添削結果です。
(先生はIELTS対策としての添削はしてません)



No.8 のp.101です。


添削結果
p101_233006.png


講評
Lv5 PERFECT!


先生からのメッセージ
Everything about your writing was excellent, from word choice and expression, to structure and tone.

There were pretty much no mistakes for me to create, and almost nowhere that I could improve upon your language use.

The only two minor complaints I would have are at (A) and (G).

At (A), a colon really isn't necessary here, especially as it is followed by another comma. You don't need to use a comma or any other punctuation in this situation.

At (G), you missed out a preposition. Things are said to stay 'in' positions, so I added 'in', here.

All the other corrections were just alternative suggestions to give you some extra ideas. What you wrote originally was fine.

Good luck with the other tasks.


 
 添削結果内容詳細
The line graphs illustrate changes in four methods of transportation of merchandise over the roughly thirty-year period in the UK: from 1974 to 2002, UK from 1974 to 2002, measured in (four-yearly) four-year intervals. In general, (there was an increase in the amount of goods transported ) the amount of goods transported increased (during)over the three decades. The use of road, water and pipeline saw increases, while rail usage remained (almost the same) practically unchanged.

 Goods transportation by water and railways was approximately the same in 1974, at around 40 million tonnes, but in 1978 'water' saw a dramatic rise to reach about 60 million tonnes in 1984. By 2002, this went up to a high of (just double) roughly twice the railway transportation.

 In 1984, the pipeline usage was less than 10 million tonnes, staying in the lowest position of the four ways to transport goods. However, this steadily increased over the period, reaching to (just) slightly over 20 million tonnes in 2002. The amount of goods transported by road was the most popular throughout the decades. This experienced a steady increase from 1974 to 1994, and then skyrocketed, reaching to a high of just under 80 million tonnes in 2002.


最初は段落とかどうやるの!?
とか思ってましたが、
IELTSの日本語本を買って
あまり気にしなくていいんだなーって。


引き続き、IELTSがんばります!
ライティングだけじゃなくて
4 skills ぜんぶ初なので丁寧に
試験形式を身につけないと。


先生からのメッセージは
冒頭褒められすぎてて有頂天です。




posted by Jun at 19:33| Comment(0) | 英作文 | このブログの読者になる | 更新情報をチェックする
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