ビジネス英会話のビズメイツ!!

2016年03月13日

TOEFL Q1,2英作文して添削してもらう

フルーツフルイングリッシュの週1日記添削。


提出したほう

Jun_TOEFL_TOEIC_添削.png


添削結果

Let me (A_) tell you about how I manage (_A) stress. First of all, I am trying to do some exercises every day. Since (B_) the job that I do is that of (_B) a systems engineer, I often spend time without talking with anybody only facing (C) my computer. That makes me stressed a lot. With some stretching workouts, I feel refreshed before sleeping. Second, I sometimes go to (D) a karaoke room alone and sing my favorite songs. This is (E_) one more way of getting over insignificant things and being (_E)rejuvenated. Even though going there and singing with friends is also pleasant, I prefer enjoying my time totally by myself.

Lv4 ほとんどネイティブの書いた英文と同じレベルに達しています。


From Surbhi,
Dear Jun,

You are lucky to have worked out ways and means of relieving yourself of stress. It is said that stress is a modern devil that we need to deal with.

You have a good style of writing and express yourself fluently. The language used is apt. There were a few errors I corrected for you. Two are:


(C)PREPOSITION
There is no need for ‘to’ here.
For e.g.

“Please don’t sit facing the window”

You can say: I often spend time without talking with anybody only with my face to my computer.


ですね(`・ω・´)


(D) ARTICLE
I have added ‘a’ before the countable noun ‘room’ as you are talking about “room” in the singular.

E.g. This is truly a large movie hall.

A train compartment is nice to travel in.

We need a quiet room to study in


これはイタイ(ノ_< ;).


(A)(B)(E)ALTERNATE EXPRESSION
These 3 indexes are absolutely correct and need no change. I have only offered alternate expressions for the same.


・Let me tell you about how I manage stress.
the job that I do is that of a systems engineer
・This is one more way of getting over insignificant things and being rejuvenated.



Great work! Keep it up.


THANKS!!(人´ω`)

posted by Jun at 04:57| TOEFL | このブログの読者になる | 更新情報をチェックする